No sale, like a yard sale |
| Posted: 06 May 2011 08:00 AM PDT
My wife, the love of God has a problem. Normally it is a wonderful woman, always kind to animals and children, friendly with the neighbors, one and all loved. But every Saturday morning shortly after dawn, its something happened, something terrible! This is an ugly, vicious, salivating, clawing thing! No, she is a werewolf, but this is a pretty good guess. If only it were something of a silver bullet could cure (or a case of Silver Bullets, for that matter). TheirProblem is not only the blood disorder, my friends. It is a disease of the mind, spirit and body. This is an all-encompassing misery, the same way, you could get the morning after the above case Downing of Silver Bullets, I suppose. This curse is called … Yardsalitis! (Please imagine an ominous musical burst here) If you ride, just because it has not been exposed to the disease. Be warned Yardsalitis is everywhere and spreading fast! There aredifferent levels of disease and can be cured if caught in time. To help, a person with Yardsalitis, let me detail the various steps for you. First there are the SY (Social Yardsalers), those who participate only occasionally and usually do so with a group of peers. These are the lightweights of the game. They do it to look cool, get fit, not because an overwhelming need to have dirt strip to another person. Then come the RY's (RecreationalYardsalers). This group has a fun pastime yardsaling harmless. The first symptom of this stage is denial. "I'm not hurt anyone!" is the slogan of RY's. RY yardsaling to go when the weather is fine and have nothing better to do on a Saturday morning. You can live without it, but would have preferred to live with her. Things start to look bad as the disease progresses to the next level, known as "Progressive Yardsalitis. This group is pathetic, because on the swingThe edge of the final phase. They feel the need to get up at dawn on Saturday morning and into the street and smell the proverbial "good deal" as sleuths crack addicted. But if the huge subsidies and the reality is that regrets paying $ 200 for a Tickle Me Elmo, which should not touch their children. Most have no memory of the actual purchase. They claim only to wake up to their deal in hand. Shaken swear "never again", but is an oath cable. Clearthere are those who can go weeks without an update. But relapse is imminent. You know, you know their families, and souls cruel to the yard sales knowledge. "We have what you need" is the mantra of the oppressors of the yard sale. Finally, the hope is abandoned and the reputation of the deal must be resolved. Those affected will become a real Yardsalaholic. This is the category of my dear wife is inside is the high priestess of the garage door open. E 'on Conan Yardsalian! Like a gunslinger in Dodge City, is a sample from yardsaler quickly out of hand and have the peripheral vision of an iguana. And please do not hesitate to come and fight for what you do, either. There's more elbow at a table with Beanie Babies that under the tires for the NBA playoffs covered! These women are evil, and in this scenario, my wife would be Dennis Rodman. I recently saw an actual yard sale. It was not as scary as the participation in a> Snake Handling or go to my mother-in-law's for dinner, but was very close. It was a joint venture, are the "blunder", between my wife and sister, Lucy and Ethel set the yard sale. Like the men, I do not think we really know our women, until we see them in context yard sale. What I saw was educational, yes. The following is an excerpt from the research that I write about this experience. I will be the final text of the South Hampton Institute presentationTechnology Hammond Eggar Anthropological Department, when it's done. Or can I just send to Paul Harvey, I have not decided yet. Anyway, here's an excerpt: "And who are these pathetic souls who can not live without their weekly dose of false Tupperware and decapitated Barbie dolls? Normally, the hormone can and everything in the way women are. The only men present were those whose wives have dragged to keep their wallets while they (women) clawed frogBeanie Babies in boxes and trying to second-hand shoes, which three numbers were too small. These are the same men are often seen walking on women's underwear section of Wal-Mart bags and keep us in compliance with astonishment. Even the most beautiful women in pink bra labels can be drawn from this radio. "Scientifically speaking, it is a whole 'nother culture. The people had gathered in the driveway of 6 clock, even if the signs Subjects A and B (Lucy and Ethel)plastered all over the district has made it clear that the clock was 7:00 start time. It 'was like that movie "Night of the Living Dead", where the dead are stumbling all over the field toward the farmhouse, where the undead, it would be that the survivors are holed up. Graduate come forward, arms outstretched, fingers wiggling, in his eyes a shiny appearance. "Quaaaaarter" he groaned. "Want a quarterrrrr …" Only a fool pays the asking price. Ask my wife. To be honest, you're trying to break their addiction. E 'currently a member of the local group Yardsalaholics Anonymous. YA is a "make aUseful, if you can "group that meets in members of the garage Addiction every Saturday morning for the community and the media. Unlike most programs, however, has only nine steps YA. He used to have twelve, but my wife talked them down. |
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