วันจันทร์ที่ 23 พฤษภาคม พ.ศ. 2554

Henry Potty and the Pet Rock: unauthorized Harry Potter parody of all ages

Henry Potty and the Pet Rock: unauthorized Harry Potter parody of all ages

Henry Potty and the Pet Rock: unauthorized Harry Potter parody of all ages

Posted: 22 May 2011 10:40 PM PDT

snake eyes golf clubs

Author's Note: The characters in this story are trained professionals. You have reached a great experience in flight with the vacuum, the creation of hot dog with magical means or intriguing to eternal life, and total world domination. Please do not try this at home.

NB: For adults, do not worry. This book is rated G and suitable for children of all ages. Guys, do not worry. If your parents try to sneak out the book so they can readyou, you can always hide under the floor of a haunted house, abandoned house to avoid the guards rhino pink swimsuit dashed on all fronts. Or, alternatively, is small enough to pass under the pillow.

Supplements: This book has been translated from American English into British English. From there it has been translated into English, and then through a short stay in Sweden, just for a change of pace. Then it was translatedback into American English with guilt and can now exists as the original design you have in your hands.

Supplement to the additional fee: This is a work of fiction. However, all the characters are scary people probably like you've seen elsewhere. Try not to worry. Finally, signs of a serious vacation.

PS: Let us know the story already, we?

The world is full of wonders. When buying a Hot Dog Cinemaand is very flexible, which is a miracle. If you tell the telemarketer that you are not interested, and he says, oh well, I'm sorry to bother you, it is a miracle. When you say a letter in the mailbox, you may have won a new car that is only the recovery of spam, we do not care about your purchase.

Guidance on the steps of Private 23,232,323.32 number, somewhere in England (the country of Shakespeare, British accents, and say if you average Chips) a child in a box near an asparagusFront door screaming and shouting. Its survival was another surprise, as the number of people who wanted to see him dead. Or at least seriously injured. Asparagus sellers have probably forever established his box, because all their children were now asparagus rolled helplessly on the floor. But the incredibly bad evil plans to conquer the world wanted him. It 'been in his job description.

And so the miracle baby was lying in his field of asparagus into tearsunjust world that was not really matter that much. His speech, so eloquently written as "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" meant, in baby talk, "What, I have ten years ago, before I am the protagonist of this book do you think? I'm here, the reader is reading, I want fame, I want to wish happiness, my lawyer, my brand cereal for breakfast will, I will … "

Fortunately for all involved, flew ten years in a period of a few lines, as the book is pushed forward to a chapter.Since he was the hero of the novel, the author has managed to drop an anvil on the brat is not whining, just as they would.

Chapter 1:

A stack of letters

In a house so common that cried quite unnoticed, the beige carpet that came with everything (including patches) for hamsters by Rabid sign that sellers held out, there lived a family of note. It 'was a very normal family, consisting of Mr. and Mrs. Dorky, their son, stocky and their brave but ill-Appliances slave.

Oh Henry Potty favorite is called freedom only inhibited, but the name did not change the situation as he had hoped. menial slaves also subscribe to the newsletter U.S. has done little to alleviate his suffering. However, Henry smiled through the abuse as dumpy Dorky tried to pull his ears and Henry experimented with his kit of dark mold growth. Henry knew he was special. You see, he was … a destiny.

Henry has had this since he announcedstumbled on the note was left next to his basket. All the best heroes were placed in baskets, a basket of bread from Fred, who later started a national chain of restaurants french fry. In any case, the letter caught the attention of Henry with the letters from six inches to say: "Never, under any circumstances allow Henry Potty reading this letter." His cousin had left the room of Henry, the less of a sense of destiny and more from the fact that he has not yetlearned to read. He was only twelve, after all.

The letter said: "Fate has marked this guy for size Bring him, that did not get a filling head Oh, and make sure that wearing clean socks I can not stand athletes foot members, a mysterious benefactor who Elusive …. prefer to remain incognito for the moment. "

He knew that one day someone would come to save him from his life of hard work servile. Oh, not his parents. Lames and Jelly had been killed years ago, bothSlip on a pair of banana peel and fell on the death or satisfied by a rampant Lama's aunt, who can not remember. But someone, somewhere, cared enough to save him from a tragic life of athlete's foot. And I would find one day. Maybe. Henry was just happy to have so many unique facts with which to calm down.

In the meantime, he gave it to his fan club. Given that Henry had a destiny, he knew that in the future, people would break the doors of his houseto ask for an autograph. Equally well to build his fan base now, so that everyone would be ready when fame and fortune followed. They also gave him something nice to think after his monthly treatment of underpants cousin.

The letter came in a plain, simple, unassuming cover, the Henry carelessly thrown under his bed. Probably another advertisement or something equally value. His room was full of "Henry Potty" books, card games, action figures, toothpicksThe holders, posters, and other refuse. In short, everything that needed to be a star. But if his adventures appeared in the form of a brave knight on a white horse or a mysterious lamp, would grant the wishes and even polish his shoes, he knew Henry would not have understood it in an envelope. He started his site with a new brand, the update counter pink (00000000000000000000000000000000001 visitors have visited the Henry Potty Official Web Page) ignores the fact that all readerswere his blissful ignorance, smiling.

The next day there were two letters on his plate. Henry looked up just prior to alphabetize his chapter of rules and statutes for the potty Fan Club Henry hour later he was back down to meet his aunt says tasteful murals painted on the pipes under the sink disposal. "One day my fans will come," he sang, accompanied by the singing mice colorful clothes. Twinkling strike, magic lightsglasses from the pipes constantly threaten his vision frying pathetic. And so it went the first week of mysterious place.

Henry shrugged his head like an earthquake shook the ground beneath him. A horrible gelatinous creature glided down the stairs, all pale, lumpy and weird. E 'was Dorky squat.

Henry was a cousin of the latest trends in skateboarding because he was too fat to run. And with his limited intelligence, he does not have much of a glamorous futurehim. Perhaps they could, disc jockey one day. Henry checked his cousin again. Dumpy seemed surprisingly happy someone with this face.

"Henry, get me my slippers!"

Henry threw his head. Fortunately dumpy had moved to another thought (which could only handle one at a time in a really good day at least) and I have not noticed.

"You know what I do not understand?" He said.

"Geography second class?"

"No. Well, that, but also to explain why theythe star of the book. If you do not choose someone with charm and style? "

"How?"

"Me."

"Yes, you are less attractive as oatmeal left for Thanksgiving."

"Oh, that reminds me. I want a snack," said squat. "It 's five minutes since I ate breakfast."

"Of course, my little love-pudding," said Pilluffa. He knew, she called him that his form as its sweetness. Pilluffa long, pointed nose would mark them as the type of women's evil stepmother, tooif your skin smooth and green hair, who had betrayed him. Henry's aunt nicknamed Pill completed the picture. "Why can not I set the slaves … er, your cousin, a cup of bacon sandwiches with a bowl of double cream, and she shows me all his negative Q product."

Henry shuddered. Bread and water were not so bad, considering. At least he knew the source of dispute is the dumpy mood her character was really, really wake up early in the morning. He had just been11.00, as Henry had "success" for the cast-iron stove fell on the floor.

"Oh, Henry, I expect he wants some dumpy bars of chocolate, too," said Aunt Pilluffa.

Henry fought with the two activities at once to do, but it was impossible. The chocolate bar in the kitchen while the fat was in the pantry and do not see how Henry could be in two places. At least not breathing, yet.

"And I know you're busy shampooing and our hamsters and pedicureso on, but take a moment to throw out all these letters. Every 200 to 56 of them cluttering up the place and I can never someone to tea. "

Pilluffa never had any tea, however, as they did their best friends who was the villain of the book and refusing to associate with her. However, the hope that he could. Pilluffa has fallen sharply, hurt stepmotherish nails a bit 'deeper. "It could be fan mail."

"I doubt it," Henry sighed. "There is not even a hint ofa breeze comes out of them. "Still, he raised the top letter off the stack. At least someone out there wanted to hear from him. When he wrote again, he could at least recently updated his potty Henry newsletter.

He opened the letter.

Dear Henry,

They probably did not understand this, but the frequent use of magic has been characterized as a stomach! If you're even half as talented as you claim, we are pleased to welcome you in our school to be admitted. As you explore thewithout doubt the exemplary schools in England, you can check the California sun for your student's needs. Our school hovers Chicken Feet Academy on a beautiful beach of trash-free, just minutes from the nearest strip malls, fast food and, of course, Hollywood. Some people have called us a school on September 4 defamatory. This is completely untrue! In fact, we are proud to count ourselves among the largest schools in the nation's third category. Word of thy fame has reached evenhalf the world. Well, maybe a third of the world. The Atlantic is a small sea, such as oceans. If you do not time zones, in which case it is calculated the same as Hong Kong, but in the opposite direction … where was I? Oh, yes. Let us know if you are interested in our first student to ever be completed.

Sincerely,

Professor clumsy Bore

"It seems interesting," said Henry.

"It would have been all year?" my aunt asked.

"Yes."

"Hmm, thissounds like a good program. "

United menial slaves had fought for years for it and was slowly accumulate rights. In a few years they could rebel against the muck out stables. Meanwhile, they were demanding blades.

So much power in the hands (or rather, blades) of slaves was quite terrifying for the innocent, hardworking people who had choked their common in all these years. Then, you can now meet their domestic workers, the family of Henry beingjumped at the chance. Well, got my aunt and uncle. Dorky dumpy requires several classmates excess fat before rolling stand so much.

Within a week, Henry suitcase and was ready to go. His family pushed him to the floor. "But I've never seen before England! Links

"Shut up, we'll give you your freedom."

"Yes, Americans will take you to the right."

His aunt and uncle called him an emotional farewell, including a waiver of throwing garbagehim. Dumpy showed no such limitation.

His good fairy was there to meet him when he got off the plane. "Hello, my dear, I'm your fairy. And I'm going to a dress and a magic pumpkin coach, and all you have to go to the ball!" She wore a soft pink taffeta dress and pink high-heeled shoes, which raised their heels so far the fact that Henry was amazed that they could walk. Henry noted that the wife of singing birds, mice were rounded up, and four off-keyHedgehog.

"I have a fairy?"

"Everybody a godmother or godfather. Get It needs serious!"

"Well, thanks for your offer, but I'm not going to a ball. I'm going to Chicken Feet Academy.

"Oh!" The woman turned her wand, the changes in army fatigues with pink top, pink combat boots. "So we take this back to school sales!"

"Oh, why do I have to go shopping?"

"And 'boring the reader, who will be most affected if something happensLater in the book, her fairy godmother said.

"Why do not we just skip this section?"

Henry left the store carrying all the things you need to later years, including a boiler and a hot-Sedrun, gizzard different garments in a variety of tasteful colors with matching socks and hair ribbons, a small set of stairs, the snake, the scales broke up, several grapefruit and a small elephant.

"Wait, do not forget your wand!" his godmother, protestedquick to reach, after all the parts with their fairy godchild had blown.

Henry left the store carrying all the things you need to later years, including a boiler, a hot-Sedrun, gizzard different garments in a variety of tasteful colors with matching socks and hair ribbons, a small scale, the snake, the balance was absent, other than grapefruit, a small elephant and a wand.

"Not so", he rebuked her godmother. "The magic wand, at least, havePurchase of right. "

She brought the kids Wall, and pushed him inside. "Henry Potty," murmured a tall, attractive woman with red cheeks and an umbrella. He was holding a tape measure up to his ear and dropping the other end to the ground. "There is a great cost to nannies. Do not put away the socks. "

"There are in the wrong book, dear?" Asked Henry's godmother.

"They have advertised for a nanny?"

"Dear me, no, Henry goes on Chicken Feet Academy.

"I'm sorryyou're afraid, then. "

"Oh, no, not at all. I have to meet Sleeping Beauty in a few pages in any case," said the godmother.

The mysterious nanny umbrella up and flew away, soaring higher and higher into the sky. After a while came a cry of horror and the metallic sound of overhead telephone lines. Henry turned their attention to Henry Fee, the traffic counting points on the ceiling and tried to model was found in them, despite the fact that theCeiling was solid black.

"Henry, wake up you have to get a wand."

"Really?" Most people say I need to have a life. I would take a magic wand easier. "

Henry's godmother sighed. "All right. Now stand on one foot, put the other leg behind your head and keep your arms in front of him. Then close your eyes. Oh, and try to move the ears."

Henry did as he was told. "Well, this will help you understand what kind of magic wand to come to me?" He felt a slight buzz.Maybe it was a blast of magic to dive into her soul to find the treasure he perfect rod for the rest of his life.

In fact it was the record button on the camera her fairy. "No, this is my submission to America's Funniest Fairygodchildren," he said.

"But what is my wand?" Henry asked, still trying to wiggle his ears.

"Oh. Here". He pulled the nearest bar from the shelf and threw it on Henry, who jumped up and caught it in his mouth while stillMaintaining its position. "Good boy!" said her godmother. "My God, I could earn twice as much money if I made this America's Pets more fun, too. Here are a delight!" She gave him a piece of chocolate, and opened his mouth to catch, drop the baton in the process. The stick landed on its single support leg and jumped from the pain, the chocolate still in the teeth.

Her godmother was the rotation of the camera. "People will make this my one million.Maybe I could go on the island and show some 'real money. "

Henry finally realized that he had his wand now, and does not need to keep jumping with the other leg behind his head crushed, just for her fairy godmother, and millions of Americans to do with nothing better to talk on television. So he stopped.

Henry fairy sighed and walked away disappointed from the camera. "I guess there's nothing to see." Bigfoot was flying through the window rides on a UFO, but neitherthe human eye. "Well, well, Henry, and have fun at school," said her godmother.

"Wait, do not get any wish or blessing or something?"

"Hmm, that's a good idea. At least you could keep out of trouble." The fairy Henry bopped on the head with his baton.

"What have you done?" He asked.

"I'll smash your head with my magic wand. My God, he could say no?"

"No, I mean, what has he got?"

"It 's been fun." She bopped a second time "and that is withinBang out of it you were. "Only a small trickle of money from the ears of Henry as Henry moaned cascade. Magic wand was tolerable, but the pun was godmother.

"Well, well, I'll give you your gift." He waved his wand in an arc over the head of Henry. Immediately, a bright light flooded from above, blinding him and forcing Henry to squint.

"It could turn that down?" He asked.

"Of course." The dazzling light swing even closerHenry watery eyes.

"No, I mean you turn on the intensity." Immediately, the brightest part of the recovery as close to Henry and covered his eyes in despair. "Turn it off!" he shouted.

"Sure, sure, there is no need to shout. Well, at least you seem to buy a little 'brighter. If we continue on this, you might as well spend a couple of classes." The glow grateful.

"But what makes the light?" Henry asked.

"It 's your conscience, Henry. IfE 'as the means you've done a good deed. I only wish that the crickets were not an endangered species. This will send my electricity bill in the air. Well? Are you going to say that I thank you? "

Henry frowned. It was not grateful for a huge spotlight, and a consciousness of less interest. "Fairy Godmother? I was looking for something a little 'more than hope, crucial." Henry rubbed his fingers together in the universal sign for money.

His good fairy reachedin her purse and pulled out a pink marshmallow fluff covered. "You okay now?" Well, "he said, and disappeared, but not before spreading his forehead with a big, wet kiss, almost under the skin in its intensity.

Then again erupted in "Remember, I almost forgot;! Always let your conscience be your guide Oh, and clean clothes .." It turned out, so that the aroma of lavender laundry detergent and the tinkle of artificial light music wafting in the air.

HenryPotty and the Pet Rock is now available in paperback! For more free, please visit http://www.HarryPotterParody.com.

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